Sunday Tickles

RT @buck4itt: Wait. This is just sinking in. Herman Cain was running for president of THE COUNTRY?
Dec 04 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @ineedaballrub: Name your iPod 'Titanic', plug it into the computer, "Titanic is syncing", press cancel, feel like a hero.
Dec 03 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @emirkr: There's a Polar bear in my niece's coloring book; in case you're wondering why Earth is doomed.
Dec 02 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @robdelaney: Kill them with kindness! Or a hammer.
Dec 02 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @FilthyRichmond: Marriage is about the little things, like playfully slapping my husband's elbow when he's using a Q-Tip.
Dec 02 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply


RT @robdelaney: Sitting in my car at the beach, thinking about Adele.
Nov 30 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @MrsSelfDestrukt: Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
Nov 29 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @JimGaffigan: I hope popcorn appreciates what the microwave did for its career.
Nov 28 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @Kyle_Lippert: My phone doesn't auto capitalize the 'G' in god but it auto capitalizes the 'K' in Kevin. So now I worship Kevin.
Nov 27 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @AmyJane: "I trust you completely. I trust you more than I trust myself. But not with fonts. You don't know shit about fonts."
Nov 26 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @kervinf: Little kids ask questions like they've been smoking weed.
Nov 26 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @StellaRtwot: I'd like to freak people out by telling them that I camped out in front of Best Buy just to return a CD.
Nov 25 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @IamEnidColeslaw: I don't think gymnasts know how clearly we can see their genitals
Nov 24 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @qikipedia: Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you. JEREMY CLARKSON
Nov 24 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @JennyJohnsonHi5: I thought drinking vodka in the hospital was "frowned upon" but it turns out it's "illegal".
Nov 24 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @FaisalAdam_: I just saw a poster that said "have you seen this man?" With a number to call... So I called the number and told them "No."
Nov 23 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @shariv67: It's so nice having my family around for the holidays. It really makes me appreciate their absence the rest of the year.
Nov 22 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @badbanana: People are like books. You can't judge them by appearance alone and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them.
Nov 22 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @emirkr: Teach a man to watch television and he'll find the fishing channel.
Nov 21 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @JennyJohnsonHi5: This Thanksgiving I'm thankful Facebook wasn't around when I was in high school.
Nov 21 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @LegitBucketList: Before I die I want to personally thank J.K. Rowling for creating Harry Potter
Nov 21 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @Killerdolce: Some believe in God, others in democracy and the last ones, in their timelines.
Nov 19 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @JordyHamrick: Took me 3 weeks, but I finally finished blocking/reporting everyone on Twitter named Todd.
Nov 18 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @itsWillyFerrell: #ThoseThreeWords: If someone says "I love you" and you don't feel the same way, just say "I love YouTube" really fast.
Nov 17 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @chopper4jk: It’s so cute when a bad date thinks you’re ever coming back from the restroom.
Nov 17 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @SarahThyre: No smartphones for my kids. They need to suffer years of fleeting, awkward eye contact with strangers like I did.
Nov 15 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @Mike_FTW: Confidence doesn’t come from being the best at something. It comes from realizing you don’t have to be.
Nov 14 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @mahoLogos: We wish your \ダァシェリイェス!/  We wish your \ダァシェリイェス!/  We wish your \ダァシェリイェス!/  And \ハッシャー シー イェース/
Nov 14 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @DamienFahey: 7% of all hearing loss is a result of sitting in a restaurant next to a table full of women who just received dessert.
Nov 12 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @Killerdolce: Too often, our hearts just need time to accept what our heads already know.
Nov 10 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @Schmoodles: I don't understand lesbian relationships. Who kills the spiders?
Nov 10 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @chopper4jk: Once in a while that special person comes into your life and says: Sir, would you like another beer?
Nov 10 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @capricecrane: Sometimes I feel like Ryan Gosling doesn't even know he's in a relationship with me.
Nov 09 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @FilthyRichmond: The thumbs are the tastiest part of a hitchhiker.
Nov 09 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @BDGarp: Son: How will I know when I’ve met the perfect woman? Me: She will usually tell you.
Nov 08 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @IGotsSmarts: I'm sorry, Siri, but if I wanted my phone to talk to me I would answer my calls.
Nov 08 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @bridger_w: If anyone's interested, I'll be signing books today at Barnes & Noble from 3 pm until I'm removed by security.
Nov 07 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @shanethevein: I really can't stand my in-laws but I'll invite them to dinner just to get my wife to clean the house.
Nov 07 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @SheBanggs: I changed my relationship status to "Widowed" because Facebook still doesn't have a much-needed "He's Dead To Me" option.
Nov 07 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @Paxochka: Of course I want to talk to you while I'm in the bathroom. It's why I shut the door and locked it.
Nov 06 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @inmynewskin: ALERT NEW YORKERS: Statue of Liberty is a Trojan horse. French people hiding inside are very patient.
Nov 05 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @DannyZuker: If I were a hobo I'd jokingly introduce myself to other hobos as a "recovering workaholic" you know, to break the ice.
Nov 02 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @tyleroakley: Kim Kardashian earned $17,900,000 from her wedding and divorced 72 days later (but gays ruin the sanctity of marriage).
Oct 31 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @JordyHamrick: Lady GaGa says, "Halloween is just another day for me", dresses up as a pigeonfishbearsandwich.
Oct 31 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @juliussharpe: I think most of Adele's songs are about a cheeseburger.
Oct 27 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @Killerdolce: The primary function of a necktie is to show the direction of a man's brain.
Oct 26 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @designersays: If you want to find a needle in a haystack, burn the haystack.
Oct 25 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @DoritosOverHoes: "YOUR 15" is trending worldwide instead of "YOU'RE 15" and that's why we haven't found a cure for cancer yet.
Oct 25 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

RT @clarkekant: Million dollar idea: Get a dollar from a million people.
Oct 23 via twitterfeedFavoriteRetweetReply

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